What is not a step in decluttering, tips from a professional organizer in Cleveland, Ohio

Decluttering Mistakes to Avoid

I wanted to talk to you a little bit today about what is not a step in the process of decluttering.

This is always funny to me because there's a million not steps, right? But basically we're going to talk about some of the pitfalls of decluttering and kind of what are the things that sometimes people end up doing that they don't need to be doing or they shouldn't be doing, that is taking away momentum instead of building it.

I’m going to start by telling a story of a client who struggled to let things go and what you can do to overcome that. I’m going to cover quite a few pitfalls, and then at the end, I’m going to go over a mess-free decluttering strategy, which if you're struggling with decluttering and getting overwhelmed, you're going to want to hear that.

Mindset Shifts That Help You Declutter More Easily in Cleveland Ohio

When I first started decluttering and organizing myself here at my house with my family, I was following Joshua Becker, who’s a leading minimalist.

In one of his things, he said, just grab a trash bag. If garbage day is tomorrow, just grab a trash bag and start throwing things away.

And I was like, what?

That mindset was so foreign to me and just so outlandish. I think there’s so much about mindset that we’re not thinking about that really is going to drive your actions.

So just beginning to think a little bit differently. I wonder what your reaction is to that. Just grab a trash bag and open your drawers and find some things to get rid of.

The other thing I wanted to tell a little story about is clients who do this thing where I’m trying to get them to decide on items. Do you want to keep it? Do you want to get rid of it? Unless it’s really trash, we tend to donate items.

I’m handing them something and they’re like, “I’m not sure,” and then they put it someplace else. Then I hand them the next thing and they put it over here. Then the next thing and they put it over here.

They’re not really making decisions.

There’s a word for this. It’s called churning. We’re just sort of stirring the objects and we’re never making a decision.

That’s commonly found for people who are collectors or who are struggling with too many things. They don’t want to make a decision to get rid of something.

That’s what you don’t want to be doing. You don’t want to be like, “Oh, I’ll decide later.” You want to handle it once. You want to pick it up, make that decision, and get rid of it.

What happens is people feel like, “If I get rid of this, I will die.” The distress level, the anxiety, the fear, the internal feeling — rationally they know they’re not going to die if they get rid of it, but they feel so stressed.

What you can begin to do is name that feeling. Say it out loud. Say it to someone else. Phone a friend.

Then you can say, “Okay, I know I don’t need this. I feel awful about getting rid of it. I feel like my daughter will think I don’t love her if I get rid of it.”

That’s another thinking error, but that’s the feeling.

Then you can set a timer for 10 minutes. You cleared it out, and 10 minutes later you could even rank that feeling.

“I feel 10 out of 10 upsetness over getting rid of this thing.”

Ten minutes later, maybe the timer buzzing helps. Maybe a phone-a-friend helps.

“How do I feel about getting rid of that thing from 10 minutes ago?”

“I didn’t even remember it.”

Or maybe now you’re feeling a three out of 10.

You begin to rationally see it’s like rewiring your brain a little bit. You don’t actually need these things.

The stress level begins to go down and your brain and body learn: okay, it’s okay. I have to come through this difficult emotion, but at the other side, I’m okay.

Common Decluttering Pitfalls Professional Organizers See

When you're decluttering, you're really wanting to purge and focus on the removal of items. That’s the goal: getting rid of items.

Sometimes people start buying organizing items. Organizing containers. Organizing books. Maybe organizing courses.

But bringing more items into the house when your real goal is decluttering or removing items has the opposite effect.

You don’t need to buy a bunch of closet organizers and fancy hangers to add more clothes. You want to really focus on removal of the items.

One thing that happens is people decide to remove items, but then they get stuck. They get stuck in the foyer, the mudroom, the garage, or the trunk of the car.

You really want to focus on how am I going to get these items fully out the door.

Not just into my trunk where I drive around with them for three weeks. Not into the foyer where I try to post them on Facebook and then nothing happens.

Sometimes people get very focused on finding the perfect home for their item.

If you have purged your home and you’re more in maintenance mode, that’s okay. But if you have a huge quantity of items to get through, you have to let that go.

You’re not going to be able to find the perfect home.

You want to find a charity that’s convenient. They have open hours. They take the items you’re trying to get rid of. It’s easy to go there. The people are pleasant. You believe they’re doing a good job.

Just pick a charity that is good enough and try to get most of your things there.

A lot of household goods, knickknacks, and clothing are just not worth selling.

If you love selling, go for it. But a lot of it’s not worth it. Five or ten dollars, people are going to ghost you. There are a lot of hassles.

Just get those things out.

How to Stop Holding Onto “Just in Case” Clutter

Another thing that can trip people up is saving those maybe or just-in-case items. These are items that you probably don’t need.

You’re keeping it just in case you might need it. Or maybe I’ll use it someday.

You want to apply the 20/20 rule.

Can that item be gotten within 20 minutes from your home for around $20 or less?

If the answer is yes, which is most things, you can feel confident about getting rid of it because if you needed it again, you would get it again.

These are highly replaceable items, more on the cheap side, and you can definitely get them again.

That’s a little rule you can use to give you more comfort in getting rid of those just-in-case items.

Decluttering, Guilt, and Emotional Attachment to Items

Sometimes people are keeping items out of guilt.

I really suggest thinking about how items make you feel.

A lot of times these items came from another person, and that’s where we’re feeling guilty.

“Oh, they gave it to me.”

“I don’t really want it, but they gave it to me.”

Or “they would know if I got rid of it.”

I would like us to think about how you feel when you look at the item and when you hold the item.

If you’re having a guilty feeling, an obligated feeling, not a happy feeling, not a happy-reminded-of-your-friend feeling, every time you have that item you’re getting that little hit of that negative or uncomfortable feeling.

I would suggest keeping items that make us feel good.

So letting those items go. Whether it’s returning it to the person, passing it on to a good home, or just donating it.

You’re going to feel so much lighter when you get rid of those.

A Mess-Free Decluttering Method That Reduces Overwhelm

Another pitfall is moving around the house constantly and not really making progress in one area.

It’s like the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

You throw away three things here, then something belongs in the kitchen, so you go to the kitchen. Then you throw away three things there. Then something belongs in the laundry room.

It’s just a lot of movement and you don’t feel like you’re making any significant progress.

Try to stay in one area until you make some significant progress.

You can gather things for other rooms in a laundry basket, a box, or a pile to distribute later.

The last pitfall is dumping everything out.

Sometimes it’s great to dump things out, but if you’re already feeling worried about decluttering, a lot of times people open a closet and take out all the clothing.

Then they get overwhelmed and think, “What have I done?”

They’re out of energy and they don’t know what to do.

If your goal is really to declutter, the goal is removal of items, so you want to go with more of a mess-free decluttering style.

When you’re doing mess-free decluttering, you want to look at the space you’re decluttering and begin to pull out things that you don’t want.

If I’m looking at a front hall closet and I see two winter coats that are scratchy or don’t fit right anymore, great — put those in the donation bag.

If I see wrappers my kids left from snacks, put those in the trash bag.

But I’m not emptying the whole closet out. I’m just trying to pull out certain items.

Sometimes you might need to pull by category.

“Let me pull all the hats.”

Then you can look and see which hats you actually need in the front hall closet and which hats should go somewhere else.

Instead of pulling everything out, you’re just pulling out the things you’re getting rid of and doing some gentle moving around.

There might be things that never even come out of the closet because you already know you’re keeping them.

So those are all things not to do when you’re decluttering.

I hope that’s helpful, and I’d love to hear stories of success or even stories of challenge. How’s it going as you declutter?